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Humility, Motives, and Boundaries


February 2023


We believe that education plays an essential role in our mission to revolutionize the Jewish dating and marriage scene. As part of our Education Project, we will soon be launching “The Jewish Marriage Podcast”: featuring candid discussions on relationships, dating, and marriage. (Stay tuned for future announcements on the publication and availability of the podcast.)

Our host for the podcast will be Gitty Webb. Gitty is our senior matchmaker, advisor, and one of the founders of the Met@Chabad project. We sat down with her to discuss her vision and message on Jewish dating.

Here are some tidbits we gleaned from the discussion.



Boundaries


“3 red flags YOU NEED to look to avoid.”

“These are THE 5 DATING NON-NEGOTIABLES.”

“How you’ll KNOW that he is THE ONE.”


You’ve seen them before. The internet is filled with catchy slogans: emotional click-bait. Rarely do these digital messages accurately apply to every individual rapidly absorbing their content.


Knowing your “red-flags” and defining your “non-negotiables” is an essential part of the dating experience. But this process needs to be done on a personal level, tailored to your needs: not somebody else's.


Sit down with someone you can trust and define the virtues you can’t forgo, and the lines you won’t cross.



Humility


Dating isn’t a quest to seek out someone perfect. If we aren't perfect, how can we expect anyone else to be? Setting the bar too high will inevitably end in disappointment.


Humility is an essential part of a fulfilling relationship. By recognizing our own shortcomings, and the wide-lensed perspective we take when viewing them, we develop a much healthier view of others.


Highlight the selling factors that overshadow the imperfections. Don’t compromise on your “non-negotiables”, but learn to accept a person in their entirety.



Motive


Don’t just date to ease your loneliness. We all crave companionship, but marriage holds the key to so much more.


Imagine a better future for yourself through marriage, tackling life’s high and low points with a confidant, a second opinion, an accomplice, a side-kick, a sounding-board, or just an unwaveringly loyal fallback. Date with the intention of finding these qualities and values within your prospective spouse. Don’t sell yourself short, dating just to fill a void.



Personal Growth


We often fall for the prevalent misconception: to marry, you must shed parts of your personality, losing a chunk of yourself in favor of allowing another in.


The soul-level (re)union experienced in a Jewish marriage serves to expose the best you, not to diminish it. Marriage helps accentuate the values which make-up your true self, separating them from the disposable traits collected from your surroundings and upbringing. Marriage helps you live the real you.




Find more from this interview on our Instagram page @jewishmarriage.


Stay tuned for future announcements on the publication and availability of the podcast.

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