Question:
How do I know when I've met the right person? My friends say the main thing is that you are in love, and everything else will fall into place. Should I believe them?
Answer:
All you need to know about finding a partner in life you can learn from making model airplanes.
A common mistake when building a model airplane is to start by putting glue all over the parts. That just creates a mess. The wrong bits get stuck together, wings get stuck to the floor, windows stuck on your fingers. It only complicates things when you introduce the glue too early.
If you start by putting glue all over the parts... that just creates a mess. The way to build a model airplane is to first organize the parts. Make sure the pieces fit together and nothing is missing. Then gradually apply the glue, and join the various parts, piece by piece, until it starts to take shape.
The parts may not fit perfectly at first. You may have to shave off some rough edges, or bend some parts into shape before they click. Minor imperfections can be overlooked—a dollop of glue can fix them up. With a bit of work it all fits together.
But if you find that there are parts missing, or they don't fit, then you don't have what it takes to make an airplane. You can't use glue to join mismatched pieces, and certainly not to replace missing parts. Don't even try—take it back to the store and get a carton that has the right parts.
Your relationship is a model airplane. You and your partner are the pieces, and love is the glue that sticks you together. Without the binding power of love, two individuals could never become one. But that power, like glue, is indiscriminate. It must be applied carefully, because it could stick just about anything together; you can love someone who is simply not for you.
Aron Moss is rabbi of the Nefesh Community in Sydney, Australia, and is a frequent contributor to Chabad.org.